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Posts tagged ‘defense mechanisms’

How Do You Handle Pain?

 Much of your pain is self-chosen.  It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.  Therefore, trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility: For this hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen…Kahlil Gibran.

No one wants to feel pain.  In fact, most of us will do whatever it takes to avoid feeling pain.  The problem is that pain is a good teacher and is trying to alert us that something is wrong.  Pain is usually what brings a sick patient to the doctor.  But what about emotional pain?  As a society we have developed many defense mechanisms to avoid pain – we drink, we do drugs, we change lovers, we change marital partners, we spend money, just to name a few – and we convince ourselves that all our actions are justified and necessary.

So, what is wrong with that?  What is wrong is that the pain always returns until we deal with it, completely and honestly.  If we just push it down deeper in our heart and soul, we become ill, both physically and spiritually.  All neurosis is born of pain.  Facing it and dealing with it is the only way to take away its power, which is what we all want to do.  Our being always strives for homeostasis, harmony and balance.  When that harmony isn’t possible, your body sends you signals that something if wrong.  Our job is above all to face the pain with truth and not try to extinguish the pain through drugs, alcohol, or whatever defense mechanism you use.  I had a friend that used to say, “If something doesn’t kill you, you can learn from it.”  Life’s lessons are sometimes hard ones, so learn it the first time so you don’t have to suffer the pain over and over.  How do we do that?  That is part of your journey to discover.  The first thing we must do is to become aware that we are employing some type of defense mechanism and ask ourselves, why?  You’ll find that life wants to communicate the answers to you; you must be ready to receive them.

Have a happy journey!                       

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